Monday, November 30th, 2009
THOC Chapter 1: How I Met Your Black Mother
I, dressed as Billy Idol, am at a Halloween party at Saloon in the Upper East Side. I’m standing at the bar when from across the room my eyes fixate on a Nubian princess. She is dressed as a bee, including stripes and wings, but I could not tell where her black stripes ended and her ebony skin began. She walks over to me and says “Are you Billy Idol?” I respond in my best English rocker accent “Royght, Rebel Yell!!” She chuckles. “Let me guess, you’re a bee” I sarcastically remark. She nods her head in agreement as she explains that she is wearing a reversible costume and folds over the apex of her halter top showing me that the other side of the costume is of ladybug design. Now she thinks I’m staring at her because having a reversible costume is pretty cool, which it is, but little does she know that I’m actually staring at her because lowering her top just allows me to stare at her growing cleavage of luscious black boobies.
“What’s your name?” “I’m Hal, and you?” “Deborah”. She asks my last name, an odd question when first meeting someone, but I let her know of the Oral, and we laugh. She says her last name is weird too. “What is it?” I ask. “White” she says, “But with a y, so Whyte.” “Of course!” I thought; another case of a black name being spelled wrong. I answered saying semi-racistly “Whyte huh? Yeah that is weird, you’re name doesn’t exactly describe how you look”. This is the turning point of our encounter. She could have responded in a number of ways, shrugged it off as a truthful comment, gotten mad at the fact that I pointed out she’s different, or made a crack back at me saying that my last name is synonymous with blowjobs, but no, she responded by laughing, saying I was funny and breaking the all important touch barrier.
(Rest of story after the jump)
